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Remembering Ryan
This site is Dedicated to the loving Husband, Father, and Friend Ryan Cox from Pleasant Grove, Utah. Please leave comments, memories, thoughts, condolences, and stories. If you have pictures you would like to share or to be added as an author of the blog please email sashade55@msn.com or chipman20@msn.com
Thank you for helping us all remember this wonderful man.
Thank you for helping us all remember this wonderful man.
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Donations
Donations can be made at Central Bank to the Ryan Cox Memorial Fund to benefit his wife and children.
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3 comments:
Happy Birthday Ryan with all of your family in heaven.
Ryan Cox
As a baby Ryan’s mother wrote in her journal “Ryan makes me laugh”. He would look at her with his mischievous grin and that twinkle in his eye and she would just laugh. She couldn’t get mad at him because of that look, even if he deserved it. That mischievous grin and twinkle in his eye is what we all have come to recognize and recall about Ryan. At his funeral people kept saying how much they’d miss that smile, his sense of humor and that twinkle in his eye. Ryan always had a smile on his face. He was just a happy person. As I saw the huge crowd at his funeral I realized he was not just my son. He was a father, brother, uncle and a friend to anyone who knew him. He was meant to be a friend to everyone despite my motherly instincts to keep him to myself, he had so much more in store for him. Everyone has a story about Ryan.
Ryan liked girls from an early age. I remember his primary teacher saying “he just loves too hard”, after Ryan had hugged another child too hard and it scarred them and they bit him. He and his brothers and sisters were great friends because for eight years we were the only ones who lived on the hill. They were extremely active children and had so much energy it was hard to keep up with them. They felt they were king of the mountain and loved to build forts and play in the dirt. The foot hills were their playground. The kids all used to go swimming in cow ponds, not a care in the world could slow them down.
They all got tricycles at one point and they would race down the hill at incredible speeds, wearing the wheels down to practically nothing. As their mother I used to hose them down with the cold water from the hose when they had soiled their pants, or were extremely dirty, Ryan liked that part best. Nothing phased them.
As a young kid Ryan was always getting into trouble. Some might even call him a piro. There are several rumors around the neighborhood that Ryan was the one to blame for numerous fields starting on fire. He loved fireworks and playing with matches and he finally pushed it too far. His father had gotten after him so many times and wanted to teach him a lesson. He told him he was going to have to hold a match in his hand till it burned. Stacy his sister about four years old started crying, and said “Don’t burn Ryan up”.
Ryan had the ability to really get under anyone’s skin that he wanted. He decided his third grade teacher was a good candidate. He knew how to push him and one day he pushed Mr. Peck (his third grade teacher) too far. Mr. Peck hit him on the head with a dictionary. Ryan called him a name and ran away. Later that day the principal of the school came and got Mike and Karen to search for Ryan who had not come back. Ryan was hiding in his dirt hut across the street. Mike suspected this however, did not give him away.
Ryan always had an adventure for life, us as siblings were all best friends all being so close in age, and especially because again we had no neighbors and we had no boundaries. The foot hills were ours. We went into a cow field across the street and dug and dug until we had a perfect hut. This hut had a hall with rooms that was covered with plywood for a roof. Little did we know, if we would have dug a foot or two deeper we would have hit a power line and all gotten electrocuted. We would eat, sleep and play here all day long.
The adventures did not stop there, come winter Ryan would talk the rest of his siblings into building snow caves and not just any snow cave it was more of a snow mountain dug out. We would sleep in it surrounded by candles, it was quite an experience because the cave would melt from the body heat of all us and the candles. It would drip on us throughout the night and we would all be wet. Ryan loved to play night games with the neighbors. Poison on the trampoline, jaws on big wooden spool, kick the can, whatever it was we could always find a way to entertain ourselves. We would all stand on this giant wood spindle that normally held thick cables. We would roll it around trying to stay on it like hamsters, if you fell off jaws would get you. We were very mischievous we would also ride a giant red pillow down our stairs at home and if you weren’t quick enough it would roll over you or throw you into the bottom wall. Ryan had the unfortunate experience of putting his head through the wall. We all tried to keep that from our parents but it was hard to keep that giant hole from being noticed. My parents later replaced that wall with plywood to keep us from thinking about doing it again.
Another great moment of our childhood was when Ryan, Karen and Mike decided to play cowboys and Indians. Karen was nominated to be the damsel in distress. The two brothers tied her to a property stake and gathered all the tumble weeds they could find to put around her. They decided they were going to burn her at the stake; luckily their parents came home around the same time and put a stop to that, we still don’t know if they were serious and would have started it on fire but it was not put past them.
It wasn’t long before we got neighbors. This only encouraged Ryan’s adventurous quirky side to come out. Ryan made friends with all the neighborhood kids as well as parents. As an eleven-year old he would go hang out with adult neighbors and invite himself to dinner at their home. Ryan never knew what the word awkward meant. He even took the ladder out from a neighbor couple that were up working on their roof, he ran home and was spying on them from our house laughing all the time. They could hear him laughing and threatened him with his life if he didn’t bring that ladder back. After he brought the ladder back, and one look at him and they couldn’t stay mad they would just start laughing. This same neighbor was out gardening her garden one day and he yelled her name to get her attention, as she looked up he sprayed her in the face with our hose, laughing all the while. She nicknamed him the “little heathen”.
He would ride his three-wheeler throughout the foothills and would not stop when he got to our neighbors yards even if they would get after him.
Ryan was always the ring leader of getting the rest of us to do what ever scheme he could think up. Ryan has a contagious laugh and personality, all who met him wanted to be around him and like him. One thing that never changed was his relationship and love for his little “Bud” Justin. Ryan from the moment his little brother Justin was born would look over him. He would pick him up when ever he would fall and take him everywhere. This continued even in high school and still today, when he bailed Justin out of any mess despite what any of the rest of us said.
Growing up Ryan would also hang out with his older brother Mike and all his friends. On one occasion he decided to sneak out with them all and go to the hot pots. He thought he was so clever and enjoyed the night, upon arrival he lowered himself into the window well very quietly and opened the window ever so slowly to avoid making noise. He crawled in only to find his father awaiting him. Ryan never would admit it, but he was quite protective of his sisters. We all had our quarrels but he was always watching out for us and wanted the best for us. One day when Stacey was in junior high and boy crazy she was walking down the street with a bunch of guys when all of a sudden a motorcycle pulled up and demanded that Stacey get on. It was Ryan, he told her he didn’t think it was a good idea to be walking the streets with all these “hood rats”. Stacey was completely embarrassed but so moved by the act that she got on. Ryan wasn’t the type to say he loved you. He would show it instead, making it much more meaningful. On another occasion Ryan took Stacey and Stephanie night boarding at Brighton Ski Resort, what an honor that was. Ryan was amazing and we both just wanted to keep up with him or impress him with our slick moves. We were getting off the lift when a cocky punk snowboarder cut off Stephanie, she yelled at him to watch where he was going and he yelled back at her with profanities, Ryan didn’t stand for that and he took his board completely off and walked up to that boy and put him in his place demanding that he respect his sister and apologize. Ryan was never afraid to say anything or speak his mind or stand up for what he believed.
Another funny story of Ryan was in high school living at home with five other siblings the house was always busy, he had just gotten out of the shower and thought he was alone and with such a short distance from the bathroom to his room he would save the towel and just stroll naked into his room. Stephanie was in the basement as well and got quite a shock from seeing her brother standing naked in the hall. His response was so simple and so him. He said “oh no oh no Stephanie what are we going to do, you will never be satisfied, you’ll never be the same. Ryan probably never had an embarrassing moment because he could turn it around and just make you laugh. He could say anything and everything on his mind. He could get away with saying things you wouldn’t dare, but to him it was simply stating the obvious.
Ryan entered junior high and was friends with every kind even the ones who were not the best influence. By high school he decided he needed to change friends to find some that would help keep him out of trouble. Ryan started living and I am sure had no regrets. They did not hold back on anything. He and his friend Kolby decided to buy an old Willy’s Jeep. They found an instruction manual and figured it couldn’t be that bad, boy were they wrong. They had the entire garage covered in parts, and nuts and bolts in cups. They worked relentlessly on this “little Jeep that could” and eventually they finally got it running with the help of many other friends. Ryan’s personality began to bloom he ran for student body president and won but was vetoed by the teachers. He was very social and outgoing without a worry or care. He hated being ordinary and traditional, he and his friends would find the worst possible tuxedos to wear to dances just because they could get away with it and pull of anything. Ryan found a baby blue tuxedo to wear with white patent leather shoes. Ryan always found ways to balance out his busy, energetic life.
Ryan’s dad taught him to love the outdoors. He loved to go camping, backpacking, exploring and later grew a great love for rock-climbing, snowboarding, wakeboarding, snowmobiling, and anything else that was active. He was active in cub scouts and received the arrow of light award. His mother was the eleven year old scout leader and his father was the scout master. So of course he received his Eagle Scout award. He hiked the Zion Narrows, Escalante, Cutthroat Lake in the Uinta’s and many others. They also went to Lake Powell many times. This was the start of his passion for the water.
Ryan was the one responsible for teaching all of his siblings what a wakeboard was. He convinced our father to buy a cheap wakeboard that we would ride behind our wave-runners. The wave-runner had no power and would take 300 yards or so until you had the speed enough to get up, not to mention you had to have a driver and a flag boy to be legal we tried to find the lightest people to drive but, needless to say it was quite the effort. Ryan then convinced my father we needed a boat. We soon had a boat parked in our driveway. Ryan could be very persuasive. He excelled at everything he ever tried. He loved to wakeboard, he could do flips, spins and catch huge air clearing the wake with ease. Even as he got older and started having kids he wouldn’t slow down. He would just find a way to involve his kids and family in his love of wakeboarding. He would hold Asha as a baby as he wakeboarded, then as she got older he would have her stand on the front of the board just so she could experience it. He inspired all of us to try to keep up with him.
Ryan went to Lake Powell with his friends many times on one occasion he was on a wave runner and so was his friend Colby Atkinson, they always tried to take things to the next level or splash each other the best. Needless to say there was a collision and Ryan was in the water. Ryan said he thought there was a fish by him bumping him. It turned out it was his own foot bumping him in the head. He had broken his femur, the hardest bone to break in the body. This really didn’t slow him down either. The nurses couldn’t even get in his room with all the friends that would visit. He was always getting hurt but never minded it, girls would offer to push his wheelchair and help him with his school work. Ryan finally graduated high school one task his mother never thought possible.
Ryan and his friends were now all preparing for their missions and living life to the fullest. They went on several adventure trips before they left, rock-climbing, hiking, backpacking, boating as well as many other trips. Right before Ryan’s friend Colby went into the MTC they decided to go dancing at a club, this was a new experience for them. Somehow Ryan got the bouncer mad at him and was thrown out. Ryan’s friends came to his defense. He had left his glasses in the club and just wanted to get them but the bouncer would not let up, and started getting agitated. The police were called and Ryan said all he wanted was to get his friends and glasses and they would leave, the situation intensified, Colby decided to speak up and try to calm things down and next thing you know they are both in jail. Ryan’s friends would never let each other down. They would go to jail for one another, stand up for each other, and always be there no matter the consequences. We all thought they would grow up and loose touch but that never happened. Together they shaped each other’s lives and bettered themselves. They even married girls that were friends making it easier to hang out and continue adventures.
Ryan was called to serve the Suriname West Indies Mission in April of 1998. He had to learn Dutch a difficult language, but he did very well. All of his companions at the MTC went to the Netherlands, however he went to Suriname and even flew out alone. There were only eight missionaries in the country. Suriname was a melting pot for culture. The language was a mixture of different dialects one even called “taki taki”. There was an older couple they called Ma and Pa Warner that took care of all the missionaries, when they left they turned this responsibility over to Ryan. Ryan never was a bicycle rider and would fall off numerous times and was always dirty, but this never bothered him. Ryan never judged and could strike up a conversation with anyone. On one instance he became friends with a man who was well to do, (from illegal activities). On one holiday they threw a huge party with drinking, lots of food and the biggest and best of fireworks. The missionaries were invited and Ryan took it upon himself to invite the whole ward, it was an interesting but successful party. Many of Ryan’s companions later told us Ryan was the one who taught them how to work hard but have fun. He grew to love the people and the mission. He was surrounded by Amazon forest and exotic animals. He had many exotic pets including monkeys, iguanas, snakes, and even a water buffalo. He was forced sometimes to travel by canoe to go between islands. This was a fairly new mission and Ryan went to areas where the gospel had never even been heard of. He was able to help start a branch and help the gospel prosper in that area.
Ryan returned from an honorable mission. When he came home we all thought he would date a lot. He has always been such a lady’s man. He dated a few and then met Katie Dewitt. Mike his older brother wanted his brother to himself and tried to keep Ryan a bachelor, but decided Ryan could not be kept from his sweetheart. This didn’t last long because he said he just wasn’t happy without her and missed her when he wasn’t with her. They complemented each other in every way. They were married December 8th, 2000. Everyone thought Ryan would settle down when he got married. This was just the opposite. He renewed his friendships and made new ones with anyone he met. He would drag Katie snowmobiling, dirt bike riding at the sandunes, boating, and camping. It was not long before little Asha was born. He was such a proud father who gawked at his beautiful daughter in the nursery. This didn’t slow him either, infact as she got older he would hold her while he wakeboarded, and dirtbiking, he even took her backpacking and taught her to fish. Not a one of us even knew he had fished before. Asha has become so much like him. She even has his quirky side. Sage was there next blessing now he had twice the fun. Sage is his little daddy’s girl. She won him over with her big brown puppy dog eyes and long eye lashes. Ryan never had a chance. He adored his girls and would live for the moments where he could just hold them or cuddle them to sleep while reading stories to them. Zaya Sue was the next blessing to that sweet couple. Zaya has the countenance of an angel, so beautiful and perfect. She had Ryan wrapped around her finger from day one. He never expected to have four beautiful sweet girls in his life but was taken by all of them. Ryan was a devoted husband, father, brother, son and friend. He returned to his father in heaven on March 29th, 2009. He died doing what he loved dirt-bike riding at the Little Sahara Sand Dunes. He touched many lives even in his passing. Those who surrounded him at the end will forever be changed and were honored to share such a moment with him. One man who was there found himself saying to his wife later on that he couldn’t believe what an amazing person Ryan was. His wife responded by saying “honey you didn’t really know him but for twenty minutes”. He said that somehow he could tell and just knew what an amazing person Ryan was even to the last minute. He described Ryan to us in his last moments. He said that Ryan even though uncomfortable kept smiling and stayed so strong talking about his wife and kids. They said he tried to comfort them for he never wanted anyone to feel bad for him. Ryan lived life to the fullest with no regrets, all who describe him say that he had a mischievous smile and a twinkle in his eye. We had to laugh after the funeral we ran into a man who had recently met Ryan and felt a special connection he even stated how he felt Ryan was like his best friend and when he showed up to the funeral he saw hundreds of others who all felt the same way, he described it as a humbling experience. With Ryan’s passing we have had hundreds of stories poured out to us of Ryan helping them or getting them through a tough time, making them laugh when they never thought possible. If you ever needed anything Ryan either could get it for you, knew someone who could get it for you, or knew someone who knew someone who could get it. Ryan has touched so many lives and made such an impact on us that our lives will also forever be changed. To our beloved Ryan we love you and miss you and will never forget you.
I want to first thank everyone for the outpouring of love and support that you have shown. Please know how grateful I am.
It’s hard for me to try and come up with the words to express how I feel about Ryan. It’s a feeling in my heart and in my soul not a bunch of words on paper. I could tell you about his big his heart, his goofiness, how people were drawn to him and considered him a great friend, his love for life. But, you already know this, that’s why you are here.
I loved Ryan for all those reasons and for so much more. The sides of him that few people got to see or that they occasionally had glimpses of. The way he was when he was scared or feeling vulnerable. The way he was with his children. The way he looked at us and you could feel his heart was full. I know he loved those girls so much. They had him wrapped around their little fingers.
They are the hardest part and best part about this whole situation.
I see him in Asha so much. They are two peas in a pod. She inherited his love for life, his desire to always have fun. Even his mischievousness and his funny laugh. She was so special to him. And Sage, Ryan and her had developed such a special bond. With me having to take care of the baby so much she had become such a little Daddy’s girl. He told me a couple of weeks ago that he thought Sage had the most personality he had ever seen. He always complained that she was still crawling into bed with us in the middle of the night but somehow every morning he was snuggling her so tight. He loved her so much.
When we had Zaya I was surprised and happy to find Ryan so much more helpful than when the other girls were babies. He was so willing to feed her, to get up with her, to watch her. He watched her a lot because he was slow at work and I was always running the girls around town. I don’t know what occurred while they were alone together but I am sure they shared some very special moments. I’m sure they won’t have perfect recollections of their father but I know in their hearts they will feel that they have a father who loves them.
Me and Ryan had a unique and special relationship. We were exact opposites that complimented each other perfectly. I loved him so much and I realize especially now, how much he really loved me. I was lying in bed about a week ago and it occurred to me so strongly that I had reached the pinnacle of my life. I felt with such peace that I had everything in life that I hoped to ever have and I could never ask for anything more. I felt blessed. I always felt blessed. I always wondered why the lord kept blessing us time and again when we made so many poor decisions and weren’t always perfect. Whenever I felt this way, the answer for me was always Ryan. Heavenly Father loves Ryan, and not just because he is a child of God. He genuinely loved Ryan for all the same reasons that we loved him: his big heart, his goofiness, his love for life, and so much more.
I realize as we go through this life there are times when the way is peaceful and smooth, sometimes there are bumps in the road, and uncertain paths, and sometimes there are gaping holes we don’t feel like we will ever be able to cross. I just hope that as we take this journey we will be able to do it the way that Ryan did, with charity with faith, and with love
Katie Cox
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